Ask the Bad Friends Trio
by PastaWar19
Summary: Based on all the other "Ask" fics. Here, we get to ask Prussia, France, and Spain anything we want! Prepare for awesomeness, seduction, and insanity as the Bad Touch Trio entertains all our questions. :
1. Chapter 1

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Ask the Bad Friends Trio

Pasta: Hello everyone! I've decided to make a Q&A fic, and I chose to invite the Bad Friends Trio over. Hopefully, many people will read and cooperate in this fic (well duh, everyone loves these awesome three). Anyway, I-

France: You're so boring. I can make the introductory speech a whole lot better-

Prussia: Why can't I make the introductory speech? People are starting to forget the awesome one here!

Pasta: WAIT. I'm the one writing this, and you're just fictional characters from the anime Axis Powers Hetalia! You can't make introductory speeches because I make them for you, actually.

Prussia: I ain't listening to this crap.

Pasta: YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL.

France: Maybe she's overwhelmed. Three of the most gorgeous and dazzling nations are here tonight, the best being me. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed by that?

Pasta: Listen to me, will you? I have to get on with this fic!

Prussia: Hey, that reminds me. Where's Spain?

Spain: I'm over here. That was a great siesta…

France: Anyway, before this weird delusional girl interrupted us, we were talking about how brilliant this fic is. All-

Pasta: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INTERRUPTED ME!

France: Ahem. All you have to do is leave your own review with a question or questions for and about me, Prussia, and Spain.

Spain: This is going to be better than picking tomatoes with Romano. Wait, let me rephrase that. This is going to be ALMOST AS GOOD as picking tomatoes with Romano. There. We're going to have lots of fun!!

Prussia: Duh. That's because the awesome me is here.

France: Oh shut up. So anyway, don't be shy! We'll be happy to answer anything, even the most awkward questions. There's also a very good reason as to why this fic is rated T.

Prussia: That rating's too low for the awesome me.

Pasta: Well, I chose rated T, so you deal with it.

Prussia: Yeah, whatever. You're lucky we even agreed to come over for this thing.

Pasta: I know. I'm really lucky, aren't I?

Prussia: Hell yeah you are.

Pasta: Now, I shall continue with the program. So-

Prussia: OI, I'M CONTINUING IT!

Pasta: I MADE THIS FIC!

Prussia: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY AWESOMENESS!!

Pasta: OF COURSE N- Well, yeah, I am jealous of your awesomeness, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

France: Just review with your questions, please? We're waiting for your call… ;)

Spain: We really should be ending this now. People are starting to get bored.

Prussia: Fine. Gilbird's getting hungry. I have to go.

France: I'll go to my room and sleep. Whoever wants a little something from me, here's my address. (scribbles address on a piece of paper and throws it to the crowd)

Pasta: Hey, wait a minute, you're not allowed to do that-

(Crowd screams as they fight over the paper)

Pasta: Well, whatever, I don't really care anymore. Good night everyone, and make sure to sit back, relax, and enjoy as the Bad Friends Trio entertains your questions!

Spain: We'll be waiting, _mi amigos_!

Prussia: Whatever. _Guten nacht_, my awesome ones.

France: Don't keep us waiting for too long, _sil vous plait_.

Pasta: NOW, LET THE FUN BEGIN!!


	2. Chapter 2

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Ask the Bad Friends Trio

Chapter Two

Spain: _Hola_! Once again, welcome to Ask the Bad Friends Trio. Seriously, I wasn't even finished with my crate of tomatoes when Francis called to say we had seven reviewers already!

Prussia: Well obviously, it's an indication that everyone loves us- especially me, of course- very much. We're too awesome.

France: And so they say, seven is a lucky number. Now, let's get on with the questions, _oui_?

**France, Prussia and Spain,  
My name is Charlotte Sarah Jones, one of the 50 states, anywho~  
I have a few questions if you don't mind.  
1.) How do you all feel, since you each failed at raising your charge? (ex. Prussia, Germany was a Nazi and huge part on the bad side of both world wars) (ex. Spain, Romano is just well Romano) (ex. France, Canada got taken away from you! BY England!)  
2.) Who is the weirdest nation you guy have met?  
3.) Who is the oldest nation you have met?  
4.) What do you think of me so far? ( i was raised by Matthew, so i tend to like him better then Alfred, i just had to get that out there!)**

**Have a wonderful day!  
Love,  
Charlotte Sarah Jones**

France: _Bonjour, mon cher_. It must be very, er, wonderful to be a state of _Amerique_.

Prussia: Yeah, but not as awesome as being a state of Prussia!

Spain: Um, Gilbert? You don't have any states…

Prussia: Of course I do!! ^_^

Spain: I don't really think you-

Prussia: I do!! ^_^

France: (sigh) Anyway, about your question, I don't believe that I've actually failed at raising Canada. I did try my best to be a good papa to him, but _Angleterre_ just had to take him away. I feel proud to have raised- even slightly- such a good little nation, although it's frustrating as well to think that it's _Angleterre _who took more part in his growing up. _Mon Matthieu_ still took after my looks, though!!

Prussia: Tsk. Canada's way cuter.

France: Shut up.

Spain: I'll answer next! Romano's really dear to me, and I don't care where he ends up in the roads of life. As long as he's happy, it's all fine with me. That reminds me, I promised to treat him to dinner tomorrow.

Prussia: But you also promised to go bar-hopping with me and Francis tomorrow!

Spain: Oh. Well, sorry, but I can't go then!

Prussia: WHAT?! Ah, whatever. About West, I feel a little bad about how he turns out as a bad Nazi guy in most wars. He could've done better, but as long as he's still awesome- but not as awesome as me, of course- everything will be fine. West really is lucky to have such an amazing brother…

Germany: Actually, _nein, _I'm not. I call it unlucky, rather.

Prussia: Aw, come on! Give your brother more love!

Germany: ……No.

Prussia: Please?

Germany: No.

Prussia: West!!

Germany: No.

Prussia: You suck.

Germany: No.

Prussia: I'm awesome!!

Germany: No.

Prussia: Brotherly love rocks!

Germany: No.

Prussia: Feliciano's really cute!

Germany: No. Wait- what?

Prussia: HA!

Germany: Shut up. (walks off)

France: Next questions! The weirdest nation I've met… Let's see. I believe that is _Angleterre_. I've never met anyone so eccentric. All his magical creatures and addictions to tea… Weird.

England: OI, I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!

France: Ah. Hello then.

England: HELLO THEN?! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SA- (is pushed away by France)

France: Go on!

Spain: Honestly, I don't think I've met a weird nation. Everyone's very different in their own ways, and nobody deserves to be called weird just because they're different from you.

Prussia: Wow. That's just… beautiful. Well, not as beautiful as me, but I think the weirdest nation is actually a girl. Hungary. I mean, what's up with her temper? That pan she always has with her is just- (shudders). She has anger management issues.

Hungary: (brandishes pan) I'm going to kill you, you know!!

Austria: Elizaveta, calm down…

Prussia: Roddy's also really weird. His obsession with his piano and stuff-

Hungary: THAT'S IT! YOU DIE!!

Prussia: WHO THE HELL CALLED THEM HERE?!

France: That would be me.

Prussia: YOU SUCK!!

Spain: Uhh… guys? Next question. The oldest nation I've met should be China. He's 3000, I think?

France: 5000, Antonio. China's really cute too.

Prussia: You losers, he's 4000!

China: What is up with these Europeans, aru?

France: Since when did you get here?!

China: I don't know, aru.

Spain: Now, that is just weird. People whom we talk about pop up at random moments…

Prussia: My awesomeness is attracting them here. Anyway, Charlotte, I think you're a really nice and awesome girl. Not as awesome as me, of course, but you're good.

Spain: I hope you enjoyed asking us questions and reading our answers! Thank you for coming! _Gracias_.

France: Just be good to Alfred and Matthew. They're very nice nations. Your questions are great, by the way, and I wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner. (winks)

(Crowd screams to be taken out for dinner)

Spain: Next!! ^_^

**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FIRST ONE **!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE ALL THREE AND I HAVE TO ASK...**

**1) have guys ever had a 3-way????  
2) Austria overall all how do you feel about him?? **nudges Prussia**  
3) Spain what was to like to be married to Austria????? Since men can be married now when are you and Romano going to tie the knot????  
4) France where can i get a uniform that looks like yours??? It's so cool I want one too~ TT^TT  
5) what's the most fun thing you three have ever done???? Can I join you next time???  
6) Prussia when did you get Gilbird???**

**that's enough for now bye~**

**-Jazmine Simmons- *:D**

Prussia: _Guten tag_, Jazmine!

Spain: Apparently, you're not the first one to review, but being second is good too!

France: Anyway, as for the first question, 'have we ever had a three-way before', the answer is _oui_. We-

Spain: We've had a three-way before? I don't remember having any-

Prussia: Duh. We were drunk.

France: Well, we didn't really have a three-way. We almost did. It's a fuzzy memory because of the amount of alcohol we've taken in, but I remember we stopped before it could get very, um, passionate.

Prussia: That's because even Francis and Antonio are too awesome for me.

Spain: Next question. How do we feel about Austria? Ah, she nudged you, Gilbert.

Prussia: Austria? He's a nice guy, and very fun to be with, although he sometimes hates it when I'm around. We're close, actually. His piano gets in the way of my random visits to his house, though.

France: I must say he's a good guy. Probably too good for his own good, but still good.

Spain: Yeah. He's amused by my love for tomatoes. They're just really delicious. Why don't you people have some? (throws tomatoes to the crowd)

(Crowd screams for Spain's tomatoes)

Prussia: Where did those come from?

Spain: I always keep an extra crate with me. (brings out a crate of tomatoes out of nowhere)

France: Uh-huh.

Spain: About the next question, 'what was it like to be married to Austria', it was fun being married to him, actually. He-

Austria: Can you three stop talking about me? It's distracting.

Prussia, France, and Spain: When did you get here?!

Austria: I don't know, really.

Spain: That's just weird. Anyway, as for tying the knot with Romano, I'll have to wait first. Romano doesn't seem like he's ready-

Romano: SHUT UP, BASTARD.

Spain: Lovi!! You're here!!

Romano: Well, I'm leaving. I don't want to get stuck in this crap. (waits for Spain outside the studio)

France: This isn't crap.

Prussia: This is awesomeness.

France: Ahem. If anyone wants to get uniforms like mine, then visit my house! I have sizes too big and sizes too small. My uniforms are always custom made, so don't be shy!

(Crowd screams for France's uniforms)

Prussia: _Mein Gott_... This crowd thing pisses me off. My eardrums hurt.

Spain: Oi, Jazmine's asking about the most fun thing we've ever done!!

France: Most fun thing we've ever done?

Prussia: I love it when we go bar-hopping until midnight and get really wasted.

France: Every year, we also have a Bad Friends Trio week. We do whatever we want together, and at the end of the week, getting wasted at a bar is the best thing to do.

Spain: We should invite people along next time.

Prussia: Yeah. Hey, Jazmine. You can come along too. Here are our numbers. (writes the numbers on a paper and throws to Jazmine)

France: I'm sure this year's Bad Friends Trio week will be fun.

Spain: It always is.

Prussia: I remember the time we tried to make Gilbird clones. It was awesome.

(Crowd screams for Gilbird)

France: The clones all died by the end of the week, anyway.

Prussia: Well, duh. They're not as awesome as the real Gilbird. I don't really remember where I got him, but I just found him on top of my head one day. He's always been welcome to bask in my awesomeness ever since, so Gilbird is practically part of the Bad Friends Trio.

Spain: But that's not a trio anymore. That's a quartet.

Prussia. Whatever. He's still part of our group.

France: He's a bird, Gilbert.

Prussia: I know.

France: Therefore, he is not part of the Bad Friends Trio.

Prussia: He is!!

France: Is not.

Prussia: Is too!

France: Is not.

Prussia: Is too!

France: Is not.

Prussia: IS TOO!

France: Gilbert, for the last time, Gilbird is not-

Spain: Ahem. Goodbye, Jazmine, I hope we can see you again soon! Now, for the next reviewer.

Prussia and France: OI, DON'T DO THAT!

Spain: You were getting out of hand, so I've decided to take over.

Prussia and France: ANTONIO!!

Spain: Next reviewer! ^_^

**HIYA~  
Okay, let me first say this:  
1) Gilbert is awesome, and rated #1 out of you three.  
2) Antonio is a close second. He's just too nice. And tomatoes are awesome. And Romano is cute.  
3) FRANCE, YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU. ...NOT SURE WHY.**

**Okay, question time~  
Gilbert, you are awesome. (not a question, just repeating myself.)  
Francis, have you ever tried to invade Gilbert's vital regions?  
If so, how extensive were your injuries afterwards?  
TONI, WHAT IS THE CUTEST THING ROMANO HAS EVER DONE?~  
And Gilbert. If you wanted me to tie up and giftwrap one of your fellow nations and mail them to you, who would it be?~**

**oh, and my dad told me to yell at all of you for being idiots and 'annoying the hero'. He's America, a.k.a. Alfred. I'm the state of Georgia. (HAVING 49 BROTHERS/SISTERS REALLY SUCKS.)  
And Prussia... Do you like Uncle Mattie? Y'know, Canada? Matthew Williams? PLEASE tell me you remember him...  
(IF YOU BREAK HIS HEART, EXPECT TO HAVE ALL FIFTY STATES KICKING YOUR **.)**

**Lotsa love,  
Elisabeth/Georgia. (MY NAME IS GERMAN~)**

Spain: Oh hello, Elisabeth! It must be fun being the state of Georgia.

Prussia: LOOK! LOOK! SHE RATED ME #1!!

Spain: I'm second. Haha, thanks!!

France: Third?! Well, it's better than nothing. _Oui_, I am a pedophile, and everyone should love me.

Prussia: _Nein_, everyone should love ME. As she said repetitively, I am awesome.

France: Shut up. Anyway, I have tried to invade Gilbert's vital regions before.

Prussia: Oh, I remember that. It was crazy. Francis was desperate to get me.

France: Not really. It wasn't worth it afterwards.

Prussia: WHAT?!

Spain: These two were never the same again after it happened. ^_^

France: What do you mean, Antonio?

Spain: Well, I walked in on you trying to invade Gilbert's vital regions, remember? It was awkward. They looked like they were having fun. ^_^

Prussia: Shut up. Can we talk about something else?

Spain: _Si_, let's talk about Romano!!

Prussia: That's not what I meant.

France: Let him be, Gilbert. It's the next question, anyway.

Spain: The cutest thing he's ever done is sleep. I love watching him sleep. Oh no, wait, the cutest thing he's ever done is picking and eating tomatoes with me. He's just so cute!! When he puts the tomato in his mouth, his curl goes all bouncy and his face has this content look in it!! He's cried for me before, too, you know. He went to my house, and I wasn't there. I was missing for a week, and it turned out that I was on a trip to the Amazon with Francis and Gilbert. When I came back, he was getting mad at me for not telling him. He was trying to punch me through tears. How cute… Oh- and he's also really cute when-

Prussia: Oi, that's enough. Don't you ever get tired of talking about Romano?

Spain: No. ^_^

France: The next question's for you, Gilbert. If you wanted Elisabeth to tie up and gift wrap one of your fellow nations and give him/her to you, who

Prussia: Great. Hm. Well, I'd like to have a tied up and gift wrapped Matthew. He's really cute!! He's as cute as Gilbird, actually, and-

France: Gilbert's addicted to cute stuff.

Prussia: YEAH, NOW SHUT UP.

France: There's no way you're getting _mon petit Matthieu _tied up, gift wrapped, and mailed to you! You'll hurt him!

Prussia: Don't be so over-protective, dude. I'm gentle.

France: Right.

Spain: Oh look! America called us annoying idiots!!

Prussia: Why must everyone insult us?

Crowd: WE LOVE YOU!!!

Prussia: Now I'm feeling better.

France: Ah, Elisabeth has a question about Canada. It basically asks if you like him.

Prussia: It's addressed to me!! Matthew's a really cute and nice guy, so I'll never forget him. Well, sometimes, I can't remember him at all, but I always try to treat him well. He's a good guy and I think I do like him!! He can't resist me. I'm too awesome and irresistible.

Crowd: WE LOVE YOU!!!

Prussia: This crowd thing really is a confidence booster.

Spain: Anyway, thank you for the questions and love, Elisabeth!

France: See you next time!

Prussia: Ah, great. This thing's really long, hm?

Spain: Yeah, it is. Next reviewer!!

**How did you guys meet and become friends? Were there times you stopped being friends? And when the wall came down in 1989, were you guys waiting for Gilbert on the other side?**

France: Ah. The wonderful memories of our childhood are coming back to me.

Prussia: Yeah. I remember we met when we were children. Rome and Germania were hanging out, and I was bored. I went out of the house and saw these two idiots wandering around.

Spain: We were still cute little six-year olds!! Flashback time!! ^_^

_Prussia was sitting down on his bed, extremely bored. Germania had left a few minutes ago, saying that he was to meet up with Rome. _

_Prussia didn't need to come, but Germania had said that Rome was going to drop off other children at the house._

_He heard a noise outside. Maybe the other children were there already._

"_Hello?"_

_Suddenly, someone crashed into him. Hard. It was a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. _

"_Ah, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"_

_Prussia stood up and eyed the boy wearily. "Yeah, I'm fine. Who are you? Are you one of the children Rome was going to bring here?"_

_The boy beamed. "Yes, that would be me. I'm France."_

"_I'm Prussia. Where's the other kid?"_

"_I don't know. He was chasing me with a tree branch."_

_They heard someone running to them. It was the other boy. _

"_Hey, Spain!" called France._

_Spain ran up to them. "France, you idiot! Why did you leave me back there in the woods all alone?"_

"_I just felt like making you cry."_

"_Meanie!"_

_Prussia laughed and said, "Hey, I'm Prussia. Let's be friends, alright? I'm always lonely around here because there's no kid my age."_

_The other two grinned. "Sure!"_

_The three boys played until Rome and Germania came back home._

_Rome noticed them first. "Hey, look! Is it just me, or are my boys playing with your boy?"_

_Germania saw them. "Yeah. That's nice. They're getting along quite well."_

"_Aren't they cute?!"_

Spain: FLASHBACK OVER!!

Prussia: Wait, why does it end there?

Spain: Because I don't remember what happened next. ^_^

France: We were very young back then. Well, we instantly became best friends, and Rome and Germania thought we were cute.

Prussia: Of course we're cute.

(Crowd screams for the Bad Friends Trio)

Prussia: I just love that crowd…

Spain: Ah, look at the next question. Have we stopped being friends before?

Prussia: Oh. I remember at times we'd fight about the most ridiculous things, and they'd turn into big fights.

France: Yes, well, I hate wars directed against friends.

Spain: They're really terrible.

Prussia: Hell did I feel abandoned when the Berlin Wall was built.

France: We were worried about you, Gilbert. Really, we were.

Spain: It must have been terrible being separated from Germany and the rest of non-communist Europe including us.

Prussia: Russia was creepy to be with. When the wall fell down, West was the first one by my side. The celebrations were endless, and these two were there.

France: It was great to have you back.

Prussia: Of course. I'm awesome.

France: You've been saying that all day.

Prussia: Of course I have. ^_^

**-Huggles Spain- Yay questions!**

**Prussia: Gilbird or Gilbird?  
France: Antonio or Gilbert?  
Spain: Why are you so amazingly hot?????**

Spain: Oh look! The next reviewer hugged me!!

Prussia: GILBIRD IS AWESOME.

France: You've been saying that all day too.

Prussia: Well, what's your problem if I've been repeating my words? Gilbird is awesome!

Spain: I love hugs. ^_^

France: (rolls eyes) What great friends I have. Hmm… Antonio or Gilbert? Do I have to choose someone?

Prussia: PICK ME!

Spain: FRANCIS, OVER HERE!

Prussia: I'M AWESOME!

Spain: I'M CUTE!

Prussia: I HAVE GILBIRD!

Spain: I HAVE TOMATOES!

Prussia: I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!

Spain: I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND TOO!

France: You fools; you think I can choose between you two? You're both my best friends. ^_^

Prussia: I still think you should have chosen me.

Spain: He said we're both his best friends.

Prussia: Even so!!

Spain: Oh look, the reviewer asked me why I'm so amazingly hot!!

France: I believe my name was switched with yours. ^_^

Prussia: No, I'm the one who's amazingly hot.

Spain: Both of you are mean…

France: Can't we proceed to the next reviewer?

Prussia: Sure.

**Prussia- where did you find Gilbird? and what type of bird is he?**

**France- who is older you or England?**

**Spain- can you take on a full grown bull? if so show us**

Prussia: Gilbird just appeared on my head one day, and has been basking in my awesomeness ever since. He's an awesome bird. Well, an awesome chick, actually. He's awesome. ^_^

France: I don't understand what's so special about that bird.

Prussia: (gasps) How could you say such a thing?

France: Never mind. I'm older than _Angleterre._ He's 23 years old, and I'm 26 years old.

Prussia: Oi, Antonio, look! You're being asked to take on a full grown bull!

Spain: Oh yay!!

France: I'll be releasing the bull, now. Get ready!

(The bull is released)

Spain: (grabs the bull's horns and throws it in the air)

Prussia and France: YEAH! GO SPAIN!

Spain: (bull lands with a thud and aims for Spain, missing by an inch)

Prussia and France: OH NO! GOOD LUCK!

Spain: (throws tomatoes at the bull)

Prussia and France: YEAH!

(Bull runs off, extremely pissed)

Spain: That was hard.

Prussia: I bet I can do it better.

France: Well, too bad because we ran out of bulls.

Spain: Wait. Since when did PastaWar19 start funding for bulls?

Prussia: I don't know.

Spain: Last reviewer!!

**Francis! how come you tease England for seeing us, despite the fact you can see us as well! :(**

Prussia: Oi, Francis. This one's addressed to you- from a fairy.

France: What? Oh.

Prussia and Spain: You can see fairies?

France: Well, I sometimes think I can see fairies, but I try not to believe in them. Only _Angleterre _cares about them. I don't, really. They most probably don't exist anymore.

England: They do, you bloody frog. You can see them! Admit it!

France: _Non, Angleterre, _I can't.

Prussia: I thought this was Ask the Bad Friends Trio, not some kind of fantasy story…

England: I'm leaving this place. I don't even know how I got here.

Spain: Maybe it's because the author of this fic put you here. ^_^

France: Wait- there aren't any reviews anymore!! We finished answering all seven…

Prussia: Well, it was fun while it lasted, right, Gilbird?

Gilbird: (tweets)

Prussia: Yeah, I know.

Gilbird: (faces crowd and tweets more loudly)

Prussia: Yeah, go Gilbird! Go me! ^_^

(Crowd screams)

France: I will never understand how you do that.

Prussia: It's easy, Francis. You just need to feel the love radiating from the bird and-

Spain: That reminds me. Lovi must be waiting outside right now…

France: Oh- here's my number and address, people! I'll be waiting!! (throws number and address to the crowd) ^_^

(Crowd screams)

Spain: I thought you already gave them your number and address a while ago.

France: (shrugs) What's the harm? They deserve it.

Prussia: Anyway, make sure to leave more reviews if you can!

Spain: I'll be waiting. (winks while eating tomato) ^_^

(Crowd screams)

Prussia: Dude, what's with the tomato?

Spain: What? It's good.

France: Well, we have to go! See you next time!!

Prussia: Good bye everyone! _Tschus_!!

Spain: _Adios, mi amigos_!!

France: _Au revoir._

_

* * *

**Author's Note: **Reviews are love! You don't have to ask questions, really. As long as your review is something the Bad Friends Trio can reply to, then it's great! Prussia, France, and Spain are waiting. ^_^  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Ask the Bad Friends Trio

Chapter Three

France: Hello again, everyone, and welcome to Ask the Bad Friends Trio!

Prussia: Oi, I wanted to do that. I'm awesome!

France: Well, I'm hot.

Spain: (wakes up from siesta) _Hola_, what's going on?

France: Let's just proceed to the review, _sil vous plait_.

Prussia: _Ja_.

**Hello people! Hi-hi! Here are my questions because the awesome Gilbert, the cute Antonio, and the perverted Francis asked me to!**

**1. Hey Spain, how was your siesta? :D**

**2. Prussia, how did you find Gilbird? And how did you know he was there?**

**3. France, before I ask you the question, I think you're the only one who's dazzling and gorgeous. I mean as I said, Spain is cute, and Prussia is AWESOME! Now, the question. France, why do you hate England so much?**

**-Kumajirou**

Spain: Hello Kumajirou!

France: Hello! Wait- isn't that the name of the bear _mon Matthieu _owns?

Prussia: Weird. Canada's bear called me awesome. AWESOME! ^_^

Spain: Oh, my siesta was great. I woke up because of the noise these two were making, though.

Prussia: Well, I'm sorry, Sleeping Beauty, but the chapter was about to start. Anyway, Kumajirou, I was walking around town when I felt something on my head. It was Gilbird. I really don't know where he came from, but I think he jumped on my head while I was walking because my awesomeness was just so great. He's the only one who is worthy enough to sit on my head and bask in my awesomeness.

France: I still really do not understand why you treat that bird like it's special. You just found it on your head one day and then you-

Prussia: GILBIRD IS AWESOME. DEAL WITH IT.

Spain: Francis, just answer Kumajirou's next question. ^_^

France: Hmm, let's see… IT CALLED ME DAZZLING AND GORGEOUS!

Spain: Ah, it also called Gilbert awesome and me cute. ^_^

France: Yeah, but then DAZZLING and GORGEOUS is way better.

Prussia: Shut up, bighead.

France: Look who's talking. Ahem, anyway, I don't really hate _Angleterre_. He just sometimes gets on my nerves with his weirdness and ability to misunderstand. If only he follows my example…

England: WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO FOLLOW YOUR EXAMPLE?

France: Ah, look! He's here.

England: HELL YEAH AM I HERE, YOU BLOODY WANKER! WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU- (France pushes England away)

France: There.

Spain: Wasn't that a bit mean?

France: _Non_, he's used to it. Besides, he's mean to me too.

Prussia: (sighs) Whatever. Next reviewer!

**Ok to start off, GROUP HUG!**

**1. If Gilbert speaks German, Francis French, and Antonio Spanish, what language do you talk to each other with?**

**2. To Gilbert, which do you think is awesomer (not as awesome as you of course), Ninjas or Pirates?**

**3. To Antonio, do you have a Romano plushie or anything like that?**

**4. To Francis, Have you ever fought England when he was in the sexy butler suit?**

**Thank you guys if you answer my questions!**

Prussia, France, and Spain: GROUP HUG! ^_^

Prussia: Ah, that felt great. Now, awesomeness is radiating throughout the three of us.

France: Anyway, the first question is actually a really good one. We talk to each other in all three languages, since we always have to do our best in understanding each other. It's really important for us to converse, so we learn each other's languages.

Spain: We sometimes make it easy by just speaking English, though.

Prussia: It's fun, you know, to speak four languages with your friends.

Spain: I still think that plain English is better.

France: Not really. It reminds me of Arthur. ^_^

Spain: Mhm. Next question-

Prussia: NINJAS OR PIRATES?

Spain: That's hard.

France: Pirates.

Prussia: NINJAS. Well, pirates are awesome too, but ninjas can do more awesome stuff!

Spain: I still can't decide.

Prussia: You don't have to. The question's for me. I still pick ninjas, although pirates come really close.

France: Next question. Antonio, do you have a Romano plushie?

Spain: _Si, si_! I have a Romano plushie! There's this little rubber tomato in its hand, and its curl goes all bouncy when you shake the plushie around. It's so cute! When you pinch its cheeks, it screams, "SPAIN, YOU TOMATO BASTARD, I LOVE YOU!" and then-

Romano: OI, YOU BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Spain: Eh? What the hell is what?

Romano: THIS PLUSHIE THING!

Spain: It's a Romano plushie. ^_^

Romano: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?

Spain: You want one too? I'll ask my personal plushie maker to make you one!

Romano: NO! PERSONAL PLUSHIE MAKER? WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO GET A PLUSHIE OF MYSELF?

Spain: Because you're cute. ^_^

Romano: B-bastard… (walks off, blushing)

Prussia: That was awesome.

France: It would've been more romantic if he wasn't yelling. As for the next question, yes, I have fought England in his sexy butler suit.

Prussia: You have?

France: He was sexy.

England: O-oi, you bloody frog!

France: What? You came back?

England: WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL EVERYONE THAT?

France: That you're sexy?

England: NO! WELL YES, THAT TOO, AND ABOUT FIGHTING WITH ME IN THE SUIT?

France: Because the reviewer asked me to. ^_^

England: Bloody git…

France: ^_^

England: STOP MAKING THAT FACE!

France: Why?

England: BECAUSE! IT IRRITATES ME!

France: _

England: You look constipated.

France: =.=

England: Stop making those faces!

France: o_o

England: That's it. I'm leaving. (stomps off, extremely pissed)

Prussia: Seriously, dude, what was with the faces?

France: It's fun.

Spain: Next reviewer!

**Wow, I love the Bad Touch Trio (especially you Prussia ^^)**

**And speaking of Prussia the Conqueror of All Vital Regions, you're shorter than 2 meters correct? Since this is rated T I am allowed to ask how do you get your awesome five meters fit in your trousers?**

**Spain, you had the coolest battleaxe during the war of the Austrian succession, do you still have it left? If you have, may I please borrow it?**

**And last but not least, France, is it true that you raised England? I've seen some pictures of you two from when Iggy was still wearing bunny-ears. Seriously, why did he not learn how to cook when you're an amazing chef that can even make snails taste good?**

Spain: Oh look, she loves us!

Prussia: Since when did anyone not? Anyway, yeah, I'm the conqueror of all vital regions, shorter than 2 meters. ^_^

France: …Go on.

Prussia: I tell my awesome five meters to fit, and they do. They just do, because I am just that awesome. My trousers are overwhelmed by their awesomeness, so they just fit. ^_^

France: Interesting.

Spain: Oh.

Prussia: Do I have to elaborate?

France: I don't mi-

Spain: Next question! Yeah, I still have that battleaxe, and it's been hidden in my room ever since I stopped using it. I look at it and play with it sometimes, but it doesn't really serve a purpose when there's nobody to use it on. So yeah, you can borrow. I'll mail it to you. ^_^

France: Just be careful, battleaxes are dangerous.

Prussia: They're also really awesome.

Spain: Why don't you answer the next question already, Francis? (runs off to mail battleaxe)

France: Alright. I raised Arthur partially, but he grew up sort of alone. His brothers didn't care for him that much so I decided to be a good brother to him. And I still kept the bunny ears that he wore a long time ago. ^_^

England: YOU HAVE MY BUNNY EARS?

France: Of course I do.

England: GIVE THEM BACK!

France: I don't want to.

England: I'LL SEARCH YOUR HOUSE! (runs off to search through Francis' house)

France: Wait, you wouldn't want to find- Never mind. It's his fault if he finds those anyway. ^_^

Prussia: Uhh... I suppose the awesomeness doesn't need to know…

France: Anyway, I have no idea why Arthur didn't inherit my amazing cooking skills. I tried to teach him, though. I think he sucked on purpose just to annoy me, and now the terrible cooking skills stuck to him.

Spain: What's this about cooking? ^_^

France: (turns around) Oh, it's just you, Antonio. I thought Arthur would come back and yell at me again…

Prussia: Hah. Next reviewer.

**Thank you for answering my questions:) here are some more...**

**Prussia- is Germany HRE? Also how come your still around (Don't say it's because your awesome! it has to be more then that otherwise Rome would still be around!) Another thing what was it like when you and Hungary found that Hungary was a girl and not a boy?**

**France- why do you fight with England so much and what is your view on Ireland and Scotland?**

**Spain- when did you get so cheery? What are some funny stories about Romano AKA Lovi?**

Prussia: More questions! Well, I don't really know if West is Holy Roman Empire, but they really look alike. West also appeared where HRE disappeared, and they act similar. I'm not surprised if it turns out that they are the same person.

France: Ah, that's interesting.

Prussia: I'm still around because I wanted to. When Rome died, he had the choice of either staying on earth or moving on to death. He chose the latter. I chose the former. I wasn't ready to die, honestly, so I had to stay alive although I'm not a nation anymore.

Spain: Well, of course you had to stay.

France: Bad Touch Trio can't become Bad Touch Duo.

Spain: It's not really the same.

Prussia: You guys are awesome. ^_^

France: And hot. Don't forget hot.

Prussia: Uh-huh. Anyway, I was really surprised when I found out Hungary was a girl. She told me that she wasn't a boy when she was a pre-teenager. She sort of knew it was coming but still acted a lot like a boy. She makes a hot girl, though.

Hungary: GILBERT!

Prussia: Uh, hi.

Hungary: What do you mean hi? Stop talking about awkward stuff!

Prussia: This isn't awkward stuff. This is truth.

Hungary: (blushes) Just shut up and don't embarrass me when answering me-related questions, okay? IF NOT, THEN YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL DO.

Prussia: Got it. -_-

Hungary: Good. (goes away)

France: She just creeps me out sometimes.

Prussia: Shut up or else she'll come back.

Spain: Next question. Francis, why do you fight with England so much and what is your view on Ireland and Scotland?

France: I fight with Arthur because he's a weird party pooper with the uncanny ability of misunderstanding the wonderful me. His brothers are a bit like him, but eccentric in their own ways. Definitely not good people to cross, in my opinion… They can be fun to hang out with, though.

Prussia: Ah, alright. Antonio? Next question's for you. When did you get so cheery?

Spain: Well, I'm always very cheerful because it's better than being sad and boring. Life is a gift to enjoy. It's fun to be happy. ^_^

France: Of course. That's Spain to you. Next question- what are some funny stories about Romano?

Spain: Lovi has done a lot of funny things. One time, I pulled his curl and then he went all "CHIGIII!" It was cute seeing him struggle. I really do wonder what's up with people who have curls. ^_^

Romano: SAY ANOTHER WORD ABOUT ME AND-

Spain: Lovi! You're here!

Romano: I KNOW! NOW SHUT UP AND-

Spain: Oh, there was another time when Lovi and I went on a picnic. We were playing hide-and-seek, so he went up a tree to hide. When I found him, he couldn't get down and he was desperately clinging onto me when I was bringing him down. Well, we fell into the lake afterwards.

Romano: D-DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!

Spain: You see, the tree was beside a lake, so we fell into it because I lost balance. We were drenched but I found out that Lovi was a good swimmer.

Romano: GOOD SWIMMER? WHAT THE-

Spain: Another time, Lovi got drunk and he started mumbling about tomato fairies and evil potato men-

Romano: STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! YOU'RE EMBARASSING ME!

Spain: Oh. Why didn't you say so?

Romano: YOU ARE SUCH A- (takes a deep breath) I'll meet you outside when you're done with this stupid thing… (walks off impatiently)

Spain: See you, Lovi! ^_^

France: Endless love…

Prussia: Oh, I love that song!

Prussia and France: (start singing Endless Love)

Spain: Umm… Next review?

Prussia and France: (still singing Endless Love)

Spain: (sighs) Okay then…

**we do exist France! ADMIT IT! otherwise I'11 place a curse on you!**

**P.S and I know you know elves exist to otherwise you wouldn't be able to knock up that elven maiden last night!  
**  
France: When did this message above me get there?

Spain: I decided to proceed to the next review.

Prussia: Apparently, it's talking to you, Francis.

France: Exactly. It claims that I know fairies and elves exist.

Spain: Is that true?

France: No. They don't exist.

England: Oh really now?

France: Arthur!

England: Fairies and elves exist, you git. Why don't you believe it?

France: I just don't.

England: You knocked up an elven maiden last night, Francis. A fairy told me.

France: That wasn't an elven maiden… That was a hot girl that I met in-

England: Why is it so hard for you to believe?

France: It's silly!

England: That's it. You've drawn the line. A curse shall be placed on you.

France: (laughs nervously) So what if they do exist? Do I have to care?

England: You seriously will never learn… (walks off)

Prussia: That was weird. Was he serious or something?

France: I don't know with him.

Spain: Uh, enough about fairies and stuff. Next review!

**Be one with Russia DA? *w*  
**  
Prussia, France, and Spain: Be one… with Russia?

(Silence)

Prussia: _Nein_, I'm not becoming one with anyone right now.

Spain: Umm… Not now, _por favor_…

France: Ah, _mes amis_, I'll have to pass as well.

(Strange laughing echoes out of nowhere)

Prussia: Kolkolkol?

France: What the hell?

Spain: Umm… Next review?

Prussia and France: (nod vigorously)

**Okay Aiki here~ A lil random girl from Norway XD Ok anyway first things first how much should I give to buy Prussia? I got lots of money right now so give me call about it *scribbles number on a paper and gives to the author* So about the questions~**

**1. What's the weirdest Couple ever?**

**2. What's you guys fav. cake? :3**

**3. Who would you like best to play the pocky game with?**

**4. France, England just got married what's you're reaction?**

**5. I'm buying Gilbird too btw... how much? P:**

**6. Prussia, what makes you actually awesome? Okay you are awesome but why do you think that? XD**

**7. Spain how do you feel for not being in the movie? I WANT YOU THERE D: well I'm gonna kill the ones that made the movie anyway for only putting Iceland in the movie and not the other Nordics... okay that was a statement but oh well *shrugs***

**8. Yeah I got a lot of questions but which flower is the best?**

**9. Prussia~ you know it's people that pair's you up with Russia out there~ okay another statement but oh well XD**

**10. Prussia do you know who Izaya from Durarara! is? People out there are pairing you with him too :3**

**11. France you believe in true love right? Who are you're true love actually?**

**12. One word: GERMANCEST! I'm no fan of it but felt for saying it XD**

**13. And now to spam Spain with some questions~ why do you like tomatoes actually?**

**14. Spain, do you really look positive on everything? 8'D**

**15. Why do Romano swear so much? ._.**

**I'm done with the questions for this time~ Byeh and call me about that thing for buying Prussia~**

**-Aiki**

Prussia: A long review! Ah… That's what I like.

Spain: Hello Aiki!

France: She's Norwegian. Interesting.

Prussia: AND SHE LOVES ME. ^_^

France: Obviously. She wants to buy you. Haha.

Prussia: Hmm… Yo, Aiki. You can't actually buy me, but I can stay over at your place for one whole week. I'm really busy being awesome and having fun and such stuff, but I'll give you a call. (winks)

Spain: But you still have to finish starring in this fic.

Prussia: When this fic is over, then I'll go visit Aiki. FOR FREE. ^_^

France: You are too kind to your fans…

Prussia: What? I'm just spreading the awesomeness…

(Crowd screams for Prussia)

Spain: Okay, first question! What's the weirdest couple ever?

Prussia: ME AND RUSSIA. It's weird because it's not even true.

France: I also don't like couples who clearly aren't made for each other.

Spain: People who barely even know each other shouldn't be paired up either. Personally, I don't like being paired with my colonies. I admit to having abused to them, but having loved them a lot, yet I don't think I get involved with them in that way.

France: Or so he says…

Spain: As long as the couple is very passionate and has true feelings for each other, then it's good. ^_^

France: Love is-

Prussia: Aw, no, don't start ranting and raving about love again…

France: I was just going to say-

Prussia: EVEN SO.

Spain: Next question is about our favorite cakes. ^_^

France: Wedding cakes are good. You can almost feel the love of the bride and the groom while eating.

Prussia: What the hell? Since when have you tasted wedding cake?

France: I find my ways into weddings. ^_^

Prussia: I don't even want to know. Anyway, I love chocolate cakes! They're awesome! Seriously, the more icing, the better.

Spain: Any cake is fine, as long as it tastes good.

France: Next. Who would we like to play the pocky game with?

Spain: Romano's good at it. ^_^

Prussia: Anyone that's a good kisser. People love playing that game with me.

France: _Non_, I'd have to say that you're not as good as _moi_. I usually play that with Matthew. Arthur's not that bad either… He just needs more practice.

Prussia: I love how Canada blushes when I start winning.

Spain: Both of you are good pocky gamers, though.

France: I've had lots of practice.

Prussia: Japan taught me that game earlier than you did!

France: But I'm still better.

Prussia: No, I rock that game more than you do!

France: Well, I-

Spain: Next question!

France: LET ME FINISH! I-

Spain: Arthur just got married.

France: I DON'T CARE! I- Wait, what?

Prussia: Hah, that was funny.

France: Arthur didn't get married! He would've said something. I could've gone to his wedding and-

Spain: Francis, question number 4 was actually 'France, England just got married. What's your reaction?'

France: Oh. (looks away) As long as he finds true love, then it's good. He's not really a romantic person, though, so I don't really think he'll get married any sooner.

England: What the bloody hell is all this about me getting married?

France: Arthur! You don't have a wedding ring on any of your fingers!

England: Wedding ring? Francis, what are you-

France: I CAN DIE HAPPY.

Prussia: Wow, what's wrong with England getting married?

England: WHY ARE YOU ALL THINKING THAT I'M MA-

Spain: It's part of the 'Ask the Bad Friends Trio' program. Someone asked what Francis' reaction would be if you got married so…

England: (stares at France) What the-

France: I was devastated when Antonio told me that terrible lie. I'm extremely happy that it's not true, though. I would be disgraced if you, _L'Angleterre_, find true love and marry earlier than I, France, the country of love.

(Awkward silence between the four nations)

England: YOU STUPID GIT! I'M OUT OF HERE! (stomps out of the room)

France: (looks confusedly at the other two) What did I say?

Prussia: LOL. You said A LOT. (laughs)

Spain: I don't get it. Anyway, next question! Aiki's asking how much Gilbird is.

Prussia: Gilbird? _Nein_, I'm not letting anyone buy my awesome bird! Well, Aiki can have a special edition of the Gilbird Clone. It's the last one living, and it's still alive and tweeting up to this day! Totally free, no charge. (puts Gilbird Clone into a holed box with food and water inside, mailing it to Aiki)

France: Did you actually just do that?

Prussia: Yeah, I did.

France: Weird. Next question! Prussia, what makes you actually awesome? What makes you think that?

Prussia: Well, first of all, I really am AWESOME.

(Crowd screams)

Prussia: Ah, that felt good. Anyway, I'm awesome because I'm the only nation on earth who died and is still alive all the time! Isn't that awesome? And I'm the only nation on earth who has Gilbird. Besides, I'm hot, strong, smart, and all those stuff that women like about men. Oh yeah- and kindhearted.

Spain: And awesome?

Prussia: Yeah, that's the most important one! And AWESOME.

France: Of course. Next question. Spain, how do you feel about not being in the movie?

Spain: Movie? What movie?

Prussia: The movie about all the nations, Antonio.

Spain: Oh. Wait- I'M NOT IN THE MOVIE? (feels sad) That's not right… That's lonely… (sniffles)

France: You're not the only one who isn't in the movie. All the Nordics except for Iceland aren't there! And a bunch of other not-so-famous countries too.

Spain: Yeah, you're right. I'm being silly. I don't need to be in a movie to be happy. (starts eating a tomato) Now, I feel better.

Prussia: Crowd, do your magic powers!

(Crowd screams for Spain's happiness)

Spain: _Muchas gracias_, everyone. I'm still watching the movie, though. I want to see my nation friends in it.

France: Of course. I'm part of the main cast.

Prussia: Well, I'm awesome.

Spain: Right. Next question. Which flower is the best?

France: I love roses. Irises are very nice too.

Spain: My garden has a lot of carnations and pomegranates as much as it has tomatoes, actually.

Prussia: Cornflowers are awesome.

Spain: Next question. Prussia, people pair you up with Russia.

Prussia: Terrible statement. He can be sweet sometimes, but behind all that is a really scary and cruel nation with a deadly pipe that smells like sunflowers. (shudders)

France: The next question, it seems, involves someone called Izaya from Durarara getting paired with you as well.

Prussia: Hmm, I haven't really heard of him much. I find it interesting to be paired with a guy who isn't a nation, so I'll look him up. He seems awesome. ^_^

Spain: Apparently, he's the antagonist of the series.

Prussia: All the better. He must be badass. ^_^

Spain: Alright, next question. France, you believe in true love so who is your true love?

France: Oh, I love every nation I meet and like, so I would have to choose from all my lovers.

Prussia: Your lovers, who are…?

France: Everyone. I will find true love, that's for sure, earlier than all of you. ^_^

Spain: Right. Next question. Germancest. What's that?

Prussia: Huh. Sounds familiar. (looks in the internet) Oh, now I remember! It's a fan term of me and West getting paired together.

France: Brotherly love…

Prussia: Yeah, I love West, and I'm sure he loves me, but in that way? I don't think so, not in that way, but lol, I don't know. I'm awesome, that's for sure.

Germany: _Bruder_, if you get home drunk again, I won't even bother helping you to your bed. And stop talking about Germancest. It's awkward. (walks off)

Prussia: West? Huh. Where'd he come from?

Spain: I don't know. Everyone just keeps on randomly appearing like that.

France: Let's just go to the next question. Spain, why do you like tomatoes?

Spain: Oh, tomatoes are good! They taste great, and Lovi and I love eating them. They remind me of him, and I don't know; they're just so delicious!

Prussia: Right. Next, do you really look positive on everything?

Spain: _Que_? Of course I do!

Prussia and France: Or so he says…

Spain: Looking positive on everything is important!

Prussia: He secretly has a negative side as well.

France: He just doesn't show it to everyone that often.

Spain: What are you talking about?

Prussia: Nothing! Next question is 'Why does Romano swear so much?'

France: He has anger management issues.

Romano: What the shit, you perverted bitch?

Spain: Lovi! Stop swearing, it's really unbecoming for someone as cute as you.

Romano: C-cute? Sh-shut up, tomato bastard!

Prussia: I'm under the impression that he swears because he can't contain his emotion in any other way.

Romano: COULD YOU FUCKING SHUT U-

Spain: Lovi, why don't you sit here on my lap until the chapter finishes? It's almost done!

France: Really? But there are a lot more reviews left!

Prussia: Apparently, the author of this story's thinking that the chapter's getting too long. She's planning to cut it here and then continue the other reviews for the next chapter.

Romano: (reluctantly sitting on Spain's lap) Well, that's good. This stupid question and answer thing is so long and time-grabbing.

Spain: Don't worry, Lovi, I'll spend as much time with you as I can!

France: After you spend time with me and Gilbert, of course. ^_^

Romano: YOU HORNY BITCHES BETTER NOT DO ANY FUCKED UP-

Prussia: I'm sure Antonio would enjoy hanging out with us first. ^_^

Romano: IF YOU MESS WITH SPAIN'S VIRGINITY-

Spain: Virginity? What's this about my virginity?

Prussia and France: Nothing! ^_^

Romano: I SWEAR-

Spain: Lovi, calm down. Let's end this chapter the right way.

France: _Au revoir_!

Prussia: _Ja_, good bye then!

Spain: See you next time, _mis amigos_!

Romano: Ugh. Fuck off.

Spain: Lovi!

Romano: Um, I mean, byeee!

Prussia, France, and Spain: DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Sorry for the late update. I was busy this week. More reviews shall be answered in the next chapter, which is a bit longer and more insane than this one! Yay! Enjoy the luxuries of experiencing the Bad Touch Trio, and have fun!_

_-Pasta W 19. ^_^  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Ask the Bad Friends Trio

Chapter Four

Spain: Hello, _mis amigos_!

France: _Oui_, greetings.

Prussia: _Guten morgen_, everyone.

Spain: We are back here on Ask the Bad Friends Trio. Let's start off with our first review!

**France! You need more love baby!**

**Imma give you more.**

**PAUSE. No France, not that kind of love.**

**Anyway I'm learning French; it's as hot as you.**

**Onwards with the question:**

**1. Spain! Mi amore! I hope you remember little Philippines.**

**You know, the country you use to molest-err, take care of?**

**For three hundred and thirty-three years darling. How did you felt when I was taken away by America? And enslaved by Japan? Did you not care? Love you by the way!**

**2. Prussia! Right, I have an assignment I want you to answer it, Uhh... cause you're your awesome! Why did you disappear? Can't you wait until everybody got tired of basking in your glory? No seriously love, why did you disappear?**

**3. France! I got the hots for you! *wink* I always wanted to ask you this, have you ever attempted to shave off Iggy's brows when he's asleep? If not, try doing it. -Prays that England does not hear this question-**

**4. For all three, Name one time someone got Jealous because someone thought the other just likes the other one more than that specific other likes you. Did your brain get mushed? Sorry Darlings!**

**Love you guys! Hope you answer, oh and Prussia, I always call my boyfriend, Gilbert, he asks why, I just say, be grateful I call you after awesome.**

**Spain, My country still, irrevocably loves you no matter what. Our culture still centered around you. I really hope you never forgot about us, *Mahal na mahal Kita!***

France: Ah, she is to give me love!

Prussia: Dude, she said not _that _kind of love.

France: Oh. Well, it's still love, and _l'amour _has no boundaries. Also, French is its wonderful language, the best and hottest there is.

Spain: Right. Anyway, first question. Ah, Philippines! The cute country that used to be under my control for a long amount of time.

France: Yeah, you molested her. ^_^

Spain: Molested her? Why would I do such a thing? I only took good care of her!

Prussia: Of course you did. ^_^

Spain: She was under my care for three hundred and thirty-three years. I really miss you, Philippines! I should treat you someplace nice sometime. Anyway, I felt terrible when you were taken away by America, but it had to be done.

France: Poor girl… ^_^

Spain: When you were enslaved by Japan, I was really worried about you, although I couldn't do a thing. World War II wasn't something I played a major role in. Honestly, Philippines, I care about you a lot and to think that you've gone through many things in the past!

Prussia: What a pity… ^_^

Spain: Hopefully, we'll see each other soon. I'll make it up to you for not always treating you the best, but I really do care for you, I really do! ^_^

Prussia and France: Shattered soul… ^_^

Spain: What are you two talking about?

Prussia and France: Nothing! ^_^

Spain: I care a lot about Philippines, I really do!

France: Well, let's just go to the next question, addressed to you, Gilbert.

Prussia: Right. I know I'm very awesome, but I had to disappear because of my dissolution. The German unity was really talking a toll on me, and, I'm very sad to say, I had to disappear for a while. I'm back, though, and ready for more people to start basking in my glory! ^_^

Spain: As always.

France: Same old Gilbert.

Spain: Next question, for you, Francis.

France: Oh, she says she has the hots for me! I'm quite sure I have the hots for everyone… (winks back)

(Crowd screams to be winked at)

France: Sorry, I don't have time to wink all day… Anyway, yes, I have attempted to shave off Iggy's eyebrows while he was asleep.

Prussia: Ooh, what happened?

France: He woke up.

England: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE AGAI- (is pushed away by France)

France: Wouldn't want him here right now… Well, he got terribly mad but it was too late. His eyebrows were halfway shaved through. The next week, they grew two times thicker their original state. It was really funny.

Spain: And then what happened?

France: I almost got killed. (shudders) But it was fun!

Prussia: Yeah, it must have been. We could do it again!

France: … Maybe… But we better hide as soon as he wakes up!

Prussia: Alright, that's #94 in our list of operations for this year.

Spain: Next question! For all three of us, name one time someone got jealous because that someone thought the other one liked the other one more than the specific other one liked you.

Prussia: That's confusing.

France: In short, the time one of us got jealous because another liked the other.

Spain: That never happened. ^_^

Prussia: Hell yeah it did! To all of us!

Spain: Really?

France: Of course. One time, I thought you and Gilbert were closer to each other than you both were to me. I really do need love, you know.

Prussia: Yeah, and one time, I felt left out because you two would always take a side against me!

France: That wasn't true, though.

Prussia: It was!

Spain: And me?

France: You thought we were ignoring you.

Spain: I did? Well, I guess so… You always talk about these weird things that I don't understand, and accuse me of things I don't even do. ^_^

Prussia: Oh whatever. We're all still friends, anyway!

France: Ah, look! She calls her boyfriend Gilbert.

Prussia: Lol, he really should be grateful for being called awesome!

France: Of course.

Spain: Oh, I will never forget about little Philippines! _Te amo tambien_!

Prussia: Alright then, next review. ^_^

**Prussia! Spain! I'm your biggest fans!**

**Now, the questions.**

**Spain, why are you 'historically stuck on Italy' when WW? Even when you bankrupt, you still won't give Romano away?**

**Prussia, these days, you're one with Germany, right? Is it mean that you in Germany's body?**

**France, well, I don't have any question for you. Sorry.**

**I hope you all can answer my question!**

**Hugs, Rika.**

**P.S. Sorry for my bad grammar.**

Prussia: Yeah, another fan of mine!

Spain: And mine too. ^_^

France: That's great. First question.

Spain: Historically stuck on Italy? Well, both of the Italies are good little countries, and I can't stand to just leave them. Romano, especially, is very close to me, and bankruptcy won't change any of it. Besides, the Italies and I are geographically near to each other as well.

France: And your question, Gilbert.

Prussia: Uh, I may not be a nation anymore, and may be somewhat part of West, but I'm still alive. I'm not exactly inside him, but I'm not my own country. It's complicated, but really, I'm alive and whole because I am. And because I'm awesome. ^_^

France: Of course…

Prussia: It's true!

France: Yes, yes, we all know that.

Prussia: You're just jealous that you don't have a question!

France: I don't need a question to be dazzling and gorgeous!

Prussia: Hey-

Spain: Thank you for the review, Rika. Now, time for the next review. ^_^

**YAY. YOU ACTUALLY ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS.**

**And Gilbert, expect to get a very large box at your house soon. Mattie's inside it, so be careful opening it. But don't worry! I made sure to add a lot of padding and about a week's worth of pancakes, plus Kumajirou, so he should be pretty happy.**

**Being the state of Georgia kinda sucks, actually. You're important enough to get shitload of paperwork, but you're too small to be allowed into the world conference. Plus, Daddy Alfred doesn't want you guys influencing me. I say it's too late, but whatever.**

**QUESTION TIME:**

**GILBERT IS AMAZINGLY HOT AND SUPER AWESOME. Don't deny it, Francis. Out of the three of you, Gilbo's the most attractive. ...Antonio's a close second, again. (that wasn't even a question... again...)**

**Francis, are you Seychelles' daddy? :D**

**Gilbert, IS WEST ACTUALLY HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE? If so, HOW THE HELL DID HE GET SO FLIPPING MACHO. D:**

**Toni, you can ramble on about Romano forever if you want, I'll never get bored. He's just so cute~ BUT HAVE YOU TWO KISSED YET?**

**If so, I want a picture.**

**GILBERT. Has Hungary ever hit you in the head so hard that she knocked you unconscious for a week? (*pulls out shotgun* I can prevent that from happening, you know. *evil smirk*)**

**And again, for Gilbert: Did you know that there is a facebook group called 'Bring back Prussia'? AND I'M A MEMBER? ...And the creator of the group happens to be Germany? xD**

France: Oh hey, Elisabeth. Glad to see you reviewed again.

Prussia: HELL YEAH! SHE GOT MATTIE FOR ME!

France: Just don't abuse him…

Prussia: ABUSE? WHY THE HELL WOULD I-

Spain: Being a nation is terrible, and knowing that being a state in itself is bad enough could be a less than comforting idea. And why wouldn't America want us influencing you? We're good influences! ^_^

Prussia and France: Of course we are! ^_^

America: You guys are bad for children…

France: _Amerique_! What-

America: I'm leaving. Georgia better stop reviewing…

Prussia: Oi, don't listen to him, people. Keep reviewing; he's jealous that he's not part of the Bad Touch Trio!

America: I don't need to be with you guys to be a hero! (strips off his coat to reveal a hero costume and flies off)

(Everyone stares as he bursts through the ceiling, making a US-shaped hole)

Spain: What was that?

France: That was Alfred F. Jones…

Prussia: Uh-huh, that was weird… Let's proceed! I'm the hottest and most awesome guy in here!

Spain: I'm a close second. ^_^

France: Whatever. I'm still hot.

Prussia: Well, I'm-

Spain: So Francis, you're Seychelles' dad, right?

France: Of course I am. She's a cute little country, and we love spending time with each other.

Seychelles: Oh, hi papa!

France: Ah, you're here! (hugs Seychelles)

Seychelles: (pulls away) Yeah, I know. How do I get home? ^_^

France: Um. Author of this fic, please bring Seychelles back home! ^_^

(Seychelles walks out the door and boards a plane back home)

Spain: Next question!

Prussia: As I've said before, West is most probably Holy Roman Empire and I'm really starting to be sure of it. He just can't remember his history as the Holy Roman Empire and only knows his history as Germany. He just grew a lot from his experiences, wars, and stuff, so that's how he turned macho, I guess. I'm glad he's awesome like me, but not as awesome, though.

France: That's really intriguing. Anyway, Antonio, the next question's for you.

Spain: Ahh… Romano is really fun to talk about because he's so cute and sweet. _Si_, we've kissed before, and he's really good at kissing. I'll send you a picture! (sends picture)

Romano: OI, YOU-

Spain: Lovi!

Romano: SHUT UP! DON'T JUST TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT HERE! AND DON'T GIVE AWAY PICTURES OF US KISSING, IT'S NOT-

Spain: But there's nothing wrong about it, Lovi, calm down…

Romano: Grr… (sits down on Spain's lap and keeps quiet)

Spain: Next question! ^_^

Prussia: _Nein_, Hungary hasn't hit me so hard that I was knocked out for a week. She's knocked me out for a few days, but never a week. I'm too awesome for that. And thanks for the offer; I'll call you when needed. Hungary's nice if she wants to, but… you know… ^_^

France: Oh, she's also talking about the Facebook group called 'Bring back Prussia'. Antonio and I joined that too.

Prussia: Wow, I didn't know about it. And West made it? You all joined?

Spain: Of course we did!

Prussia: Aww… I'm touched… I'm so awesome…

Germany: _Bruder_, I'm going to stay over at Feliciano's house tonight, so don't expect me to be at home when you come back later! Bye.

Prussia: Right- wait, West!

Germany: What?

Prussia: YOU'RE AWESOME.

Germany: Um… I know…

Prussia: YEAH. YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. ^_^

Germany: Right.

Prussia: Wait!

Germany: What is it, _bruder_?

Prussia: YOU REALLY ARE AWESOME… UM… WEST… ^_^

Germany: Yeah, you're awesome too. See you tomorrow. (walks off)

Prussia: That guy is just so awesome. But not as awesome as me, of course. ^_^

France: Ah, that was nice. Anyway, thanks for the review!

Spain: Next. ^_^

**HALO! It's great to see another ask 'Hetalia' family! You're welcome to join, Pasta! Great one! Here my question for the Trio:**

**1)Spain - SPAIN! You're so cute! What do you feel if Romano together with Liechtenstein? They're cute! What can you say about Belgium? And did you know that Green Carnation (Your national flower is red) is symbol of homosexuality? LoL! XD Sorry...**

**2)France - I like your father figure than England (Erm... minus the pervert part!). How do you feel about that? What do you think about Indochina (Vietnam, Myanmar and Laos)? They said they hate you!**

**3)Prussia - Hmm... Someone ask me this. Don't mad. *breathe in* CAN YOU STOP SAYING AWESOME ALREADY? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE SO AWESOME? I think that it... *smile innocently***

**4)Bad friend trio - Which Asian nation you like? Why? (Either official or non-official... You can choose)**

**That all! Uh oh! Got to go! The ASEAN meeting is about to start and they said that I have to finish the fic 'Ask the Asian'. Stop by if you have time. Sorry because I couldn't invite bad friend trio to become our guest because only one European or Western nation I can choose! Sorry! *bow* Oh, Malaysia's warning. (Malaysia: Don't you dare to touch or near my brother and sister, or I'll crush you're three head!) *sweat* Please forgive him... If it involves his siblings, it always like this... Bye! And SPAIN! I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE CUTE!**

France: Oh hello. PastaWar19 is very glad to have made this fic, since for her, it turned out to be more fun than imagined.

Prussia: How do you know what Pasta thinks?

France: She told me.

Prussia: Why didn't she tell me?

France: Because I'm her favorite.

Prussia: That isn't true! She told me I was her favorite!

France: Well, she told you wrong because I'M-

Spain: She loves all of us equally; now let's get on with the review. ^_^

Prussia: Right. The first question's about Romano getting together with Liechtenstein.

Spain: They're good friends, and I've seen them get along sometimes. I don't think they'll get together although they're a cute couple. ^_^

France: She's asking about Belgium, now.

Spain: Belgium? She's a really nice girl. Whenever we meet, we trade chocolate and tomatoes. It's fun.

France: That must be nice. And the Green Carnation…

Prussia: … is the symbol of homosexuality…

(Prussia and France look at Spain pointedly)

Spain: What? I didn't know that it symbolized that. How interesting… ^_^

Prussia: Right. Next question's for you, Francis.

France: Oh, of course. Arthur and I are good father figures, but I'm obviously better. Love is radiating out of me more… ^_^

Spain: Um, yeah. And what do you think of Indochina?

France: Vietnam, Myanmar, and Laos? I don't understand what they have to hate about me. I'm really kindhearted, intelligent, strong, and hot. They're just jealous, most probably.

Prussia: Uh-huh. That's what you always say…

France: No, really! I know that deep down, they'll always love me. ^_^

Prussia: Whatever…

France: Right. Oh, Gilbert, she's telling you to stop saying you're awesome already!

Prussia: WHAT? WHY?

France: Oh, just because. ^_^

Prussia: Just because WHAT?

France: Oh nothing. ^_^

Prussia: Why are you so happy about it?

France: Because a reviewer finally questioned your so-called awesomeness. ^_^

Prussia: SHUT UP. I'M AWESOME BECAUSE I JUST AM.

Spain: Okay… Now, she's asking what Asian nation we like.

France: I love all of them! Asian nations are all nice and (coughs) sexy (coughs) so I'd have to say I can't possibly choose just one. ^_^

Prussia: Uh-huh. China, Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong are all very cool, and it's fun hanging out with them.

Spain: I'm rather close to the Southeast Asian nations, like Philippines and the like. They're really nice over there.

France: Wonderful. Oh- have fun over there at Asia! It must be great having a fic like 'Ask the Asian'.

Prussia: Not as awesome as 'Ask the Bad Friends Trio', though!

Spain: And don't worry, Malaysia, we won't touch you or any of your brothers and sisters. We're quite controlled and gentlemanly here. Thanks for the cute compliment, too! ^_^

France: But if we don't touch them, what will happen to our reputation as the Bad Touch Trio?

Prussia: Yeah, I have a plan for those sexy Asian nations… (whispers plan to the other two)

France: Brilliant idea, Gilbert!

Spain: I don't think we should…

Prussia: Aw, come on, Antonio, we'll just fix it up and do it for Bad Friends Trio week! Meanwhile, the next review shall be read! (cackles evilly)

**Hello boys,**

**My name is Annette Jones,**

**QUESTION TIME!**

**1.) What is one of the worst things you guys have done?**

**2.) Have you guys ever gotten arrested?**

**3.) Do you know who the Beatles are? If so please name the country they are from ^_^**

**4.) Can you all speak each other's languages?**

**5.) Who's language is cooler?**

**6.) Can I get a hug from you guys?**

**7.) Could you tell I'm a state?**

**8.) France and Spain, do you remember me? Because I believe originally my territory belonged to France, then Spain and now here I am part of America!**

**Love ya!**

France: Hello, Annette.

Spain: Welcome to Ask the Bad Friends Trio!

Prussia: Yeah, yeah. First question. Hmm… the worst thing we've done?

France: That's obvious. Everyone hated us afterwards.

Spain: It was fun, though…

Prussia: Yeah, I know! We blew up the whole conference building. Nobody was in it, though, only one Gilbird clone that escaped from my pocket.

France: There were fireworks, and it was a huge blast to the start of our very first Bad Friends Trio week.

Spain: Good memories… We had to clean the mess up and pay for all the damages, though. Anyway, next question!

Prussia: Aw, yeah, we've been arrested several times. Drunk driving, drug dealing, condom stealing, assaulting officers, sexual harassment, and many other stuff…

Spain: Most of which I didn't even want to be a part of.

France: It's alright, Antonio. We always have fun, though!

Spain: Right… Next question is about the Beatles.

Prussia: I've heard of them. They're a famous band.

France: From where again?

Spain: From England, remember?

France: Ah. No wonder I don't know…

Prussia: Lol.

England: Why are you idiots talking about the Beatles?

France: Oh, nothing, Arthur. ^_^

England: Well, I'm leaving… (walks off)

Spain: People keep on popping up like that. Next question is about whether we speak each other's languages or not, and the one after that is about whose language is cooler.

Prussia: Of course we speak each other's languages. German is AWESOME.

France: I still think French is the hottest language- and it's the language of love, too!

Spain: Spanish isn't that bad… It's quite easy.

Prussia: Whatever. Hey, Annette's asking for hugs!

(The Bad Friends Trio hugs Annette)

France: It feels good to spread love. ^_^

Spain: Oh, look, she's a state, I guess.

Prussia: One of America's, obviously, but which one?

France: Let's see… She originally belonged to me, and then went to Antonio, and finally became one of Alfred's states.

Prussia: Alfred's states seem to flock here in this fic.

America: Sadly. They won't listen to me! Hanging around with bad influences like you is really bad…

France: What are you talking about? ^_^

America: Never mind… (walks off)

Spain: Wait… Which state- ?

Prussia: Pfft…. You're telling me you don't know which state this nice girl is?

France: Well, it's not like we keep track of all American states that were under us before… (winks) So, which state are you?

Prussia: (laughs) This Ask program is funny.

Spain: Nice talking to you! Come again or something. Love you! ^_^

**Darn it, I forgot to sign my last question! Oh well. Just so you know, I'm the one who asked when you met. Anyway, Francis, did you ever bring Gilbert and Antonio over to meet Matthew when he was little? And keeping with that question, did you three ever bring Matthew, Lovino and Ludwig over for play dates? And Antonio, you're sometimes pictured with a little turtle on your head, is that your pet? Oh, one last thing. Gilbert, you're the Awesomest of the Trio, Antonio is the Friendliest, and Francis (blush) is the Handsomest.**

**Page-Mistress**

France: Oh hello there. Nice to see that you've come back again.

Prussia: Of course she came back. We're awesome.

Spain: Stop saying that, will you?

Prussia: NO WAY.

France: Question! Matthew, Lovino, and Ludwig have met before when they were still very young, and got along quite well.

Prussia: They were so cute. Antonio almost fainted from the cuteness

Spain: I didn't faint! They were just sooooo cute! ^_^

Prussia: Right. Oh, she's asking about the pet turtle you sometimes put on your head.

Spain: Oh that! You must be talking about my _tortuga _named Lovinito.

Romano: You named a turtle Lovinito?

Spain: Yeah. It was cute so I named it after you. ^_^

Romano: WHAT THE HELL?

France: Come on, _mon cher,_ take it as a sign of love. ^_^

Romano: Stupid bastards. (sits back down on Spain's lap)

Prussia: YEAH SHE CALLED ME AWESOME.

Spain: I'm the friendliest. ^_^

France: Oh, of course I'm the handsomest of us all. I'm France. (winks)

Prussia: I'M THE AWESOMEST.

Spain: Um, okay, let's go to the next reviewer.

**Yay thank you SO much to for answering my questions~ I'm sorry about that last review. When I first saw this there weren't any reviews so I thought that I had the first review and well I didn't I was second... TT^TT**

**1) not a question but THANK YOU **repeats about 800 times** for inviting me to Bad Friends Trio week I look forward to it~!**

**2) Thanks for the tomatoes and uniforms~**

**3) okay this IS a question: have you guys ever gotten arrested during BFT week? If so for what dare I ask? And who did you get to bail you out?**

**4) Btw Prussia I was hoping for a more detailed **cough* intimate **cough** answer when speaking of Austria...**

**5) have any of you ever noticed Hungary when out on a date or other intimate activities?**

**6) Prussia what was it like raising west?**

**I do believe that you've had enough of this fangirl for now.. Bye~ OH by the way Spain is my favorite but France is a close second!**

**-Jazmine Simmons- *:D**

France: _Bonjour_. Welcome back.

Spain: Answering questions is our thing! Well, next to… other stuff…

Prussia: Yeah, anyway, I still congratulate you for getting second review for this fic.

France: Bad Friends Trio week is sure to be a wonderful experience now that there's a beautiful fangirl joining us. It's going to be great. ^_^

Prussia: Yeah, you're just going to molest her.

France: I'm not that harsh, Gilbert. ^_^

Spain: Yeah, well, you're welcome. Tomatoes are really delicious so it's great to give them out.

France: My uniforms are delicious too, so if you want, I have more extras at home! (winks seductively)

Prussia: Oh whatever. Anyway, yes, we have gotten arrested on several Bad Touch Trio weeks. Last year, we didn't, which is why we're planning for something ultra devious this year!

Spain: Well, we got arrested for drunk driving, drug dealing, condom stealing, assaulting officers, sexual harassment, and many other stuff, as Francis has mentioned earlier.

France: It's not like we do it every time. Sometimes, it's not even on purpose.

Spain: We do some of that on purpose?

Prussia: Of course not. ^_^

Spain: Lovi always bails me out.

Romano: I ONLY DO THAT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE IN JAIL!

Spain: I love you too, Lovi. ^_^

Prussia: _Bruder_ bails me out. I don't even have to ask him to.

Germany: I only bail you out because you're one of the responsibilities which I have to take care of. One of the hardest ones too, I may add.

Prussia: _Ja_,_ ja,_ you're awesome too. ^_^

France: Oh, do you all know who bails me out? The one and only-

England: SHUT UP YOU FROG. I STILL HATE YOU.

France: I hate you too, Arthur.

England: I only bail you out because YOU'RE PATHETIC AND USELESS. And that would mean you'd owe me. ^_^

France: (grimaces) Right, I do owe you… -_-

England: Good day, dear gentlemen. If there are any gentlemen here, that is. (walks off)

France: We _are_ gentlemen. ^_^

Prussia: AWESOME gentlemen. ^_^

Spain: Um, she's asking about Austria.

Prussia: Oh, Roderich? We're really good friends, and I have to say that we're pretty close. He may not be as awesome as me, but he's cool enough to hang around me. There was one time when he played the piano and I played the violin and we made awesome music. Elizaveta sang. TRIED TO, at least.

France: Wow. They both didn't appear.

Hungary: Look again, pervert.

Prussia: Oh hey. Your singing's great, by the way. ^_^

Hungary: (rolls eyes) If I hear you talk about my singing one more time-

Prussia: Yes ma'am.

Austria: Elizaveta, let's go home.

Prussia: RODDY! YOU'RE HERE! ^_^

Austria: Hello Gilbert. I'm going home now.

Prussia: Aw. I wanted to have some fun. Bye.

Austria: Well, I suppose we could stay and watch for a while.

Hungary: But-

Austria: In fact, we can have lunch here and they'll be the ones to pay for it.

Hungary: Fine. As long as nothing silly happens, I'm fine.

Spain: Okay, next question! Have any of us ever noticed Hungary while out on a date or doing intimate activities? What-

Hungary: (blushes deeply) Oh, I'm sure that's nothing.

Spain: Why would we notice you when you're not even there at those times?

Prussia: (gasps) Unless she spies on us-

France: (gasps as well) And takes pictures-

Prussia: Because we're so awesome-

France: And because she loves watching men interact!

(Prussia and France stare at Hungary, who is now tomato red)

Spain: Huh? I still don't get it… What is that you're implying?

Austria: (chuckles softly) Elizaveta's been spying on you and taking pictures whenever you're together, Antonio, that's what.

Hungary: NO, THAT'S NOT IT!

France: Don't be shy. ^_^

Prussia: Yeah, I'm sure you're not the only girl in the world who does that. ^_^

Hungary: THAT'S IT. WE ARE LEAVING.

Austria: Already? Um, I mean, let's eat first. I'm hungry.

Hungary: (stomach growls) Yeah, I'm hungry too. Let's eat in a SEPARATE room from these idiots and then go home.

Austria: That's fine with me. As long as we don't have to pay for it.

(The two leave the room)

Spain: Hungary doesn't do that. I don't see her.

Prussia: That's because she hides, Antonio. I just can't believe it!

France: Well, it's true. Anyway, Prussia, the next question is about how it was like raising dear little Germany.

Prussia: Oh, it was fun. He'd sometimes go with me on my adventures and watches me do awesome stuff. It's great. He might have been a handful at times, but seriously, he's usually behaved. I inspired him to be great, you know.

France: Wow, he didn't appear.

Pasta: That's because I used up all my appearing powers. My fingers are tired.

Spain: Why are your fingers tired?

Pasta: Because I've been typing this chapter for so long. And I've been procrastinating in MANY things including this story. It's tiring. Now, I have to go take a shower. (disappears)

France: Does that mean the next review is our last?

Prussia: Alright then. We wouldn't want little Miss Pasta's fingers to get too tired.

**Have any of you ever thought about your charges in a less than clean way when they were still young? What about now that they are older? Also how did the 'where do babies come from' talk go with each of you?**

France: Less than clean way? Well, I always have these thoughts of love in my head, but they're children, so I couldn't do anything much.

Prussia: You still thought them, though.

France: I bet you did as well.

Prussia: Aw shut up.

Spain: I still don't understand… Well, my charges were usually treated all right.

France: Riiight. Anyway, now that they're older, I love thinking about them since they're prettier than before. ^_^

Prussia: Same old Francis.

Spain: I still don't get it. I treat everyone nicely. ^_^

Prussia: OH THE 'WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM' TALK! That was fun.

France: Fun? I just got a doughnut and a long piece of bread…

Spain: What does that have to do with it? Well, I always say that babies just appear one day when the parents want them to. It's easy.

Prussia: Well, that's boring. West actually believed me when I said they come from the supermarket right next to the vegetables. His face… He was so fascinated, and I couldn't answer when he asked me why I was laughing. We went to the supermarket one day, and the vegetables were on the first aisle. The second aisle was empty because they were restocking.

France: What happened then?

Prussia: The supermarket man's sister had a litter of newborn puppies. I had to buy some for West because he told me he wanted to have babies too. (laughs hysterically)

Spain: I can't imagine the present Germany saying that.

Prussia: Oh, I'll get him to say it right here in this story. Next chapter, maybe, since Miss Pasta's tired.

France: I can't wait.

Spain: Anyway, goodbye, everyone! ^_^

France: See you next chapter. ^_^

Prussia: Yeah, until next time… ^_^

* * *

_**A/N: **Sorry for the really late update. Was procrastinating a bit, but tried hard to do this with my other projects. The next chapter will come sooner, though, so stay tuned and continue reviewing! :)_

-Pasta W 19._  
_


	5. Chapter 5

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Ask the Bad Friends Trio

Chapter Five

France: Greetings, _mes amis_.

Prussia: _Ja, ja, _hello everyone…

Spain: Ah, _hola_ to all of you!

Prussia: Let's get on with the first review already. All this opening greetings stuff is taking so long and it wastes precious time.

France: Ooh, someone's impatient today.

Prussia: Shut up!

Spain: Francis has a point, Gilbert, you're usually happier than this.

Prussia: I'm cranky and pubescent today and I don't know why!

Germany: He fell off the bed while getting up this morning, that's all. And he accidentally spilled his breakfast over himself as well.

Prussia: Shut up and get out of the story, _bruder_. Now can we get one with the first review?

France: _Oui_, let us proceed. Antonio, you may do the honors.

(A box appears out of nowhere. Spain grabs it and shakes, shuffling the papers inside. Then, he picks one)

**What's up Bad Friends Trio?**

**Hope yall remember me?**

**Prussia, it's great ta hear that there is another "ex-nation" out there.**

**Spain, do ya know me, I'm America's hot little sister.**

**France, ya grab me one more time an' I'll send ya ta mars.**

**If ya three find ya'r selfs in the U.S.A. call me maybe we can hang out.**

**-the Confederacy/Alice F. Jones**

Prussia: Wait a minute, since when have we started doing that?

Spain: Since decided to upgrade our equipment here.

France: Yeah. Now, we have free food and drinks. _Mon cher_, a glass of chardonnay, _sil vous plait_?

(A sexy French lady pops out of nowhere and hands France a glass of chardonnay)

Prussia: Oi, you, get me beer.

(The lady rolls her eyes, presses a big red button, and a bottle of beer appears above Prussia, falling on his head)

Prussia: Hey! That hurts! (opens the bottle)

Spain: I think you have to ask nicely.

Prussia: Whatever.

France: Anyway, hello Alice. We're doing fine, except for dear Gilbert here, who has woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

Prussia: Oh, another ex-nation! We could hang out sometime, you know. I understand your pain and agony.

Spain: It can't be that bad.

Prussia: Believe me, it is.

Spain: Right. Um, hi, Alice. Want a crate of tomatoes? Every crate comes with a plushie of your choice. I'm giving them out for free now, you know, so-

France: You're going to ask every reviewer if they want one?

Spain: I guess so.

France: Oh, you're too nice to your fans.

Prussia: HAHA, she said that if you grab her one more time, she'll send you to Mars!

France: I don't grab her that much. And why are you so happy about it?

Prussia: Haha, I don't know. It's fun seeing you suffer.

France: I forgot you were part sadist.

Spain: Anyway, we'll give you a call the next time we go to the U.S.A. ^_^

Prussia: Yeah, we'll talk, Alice.

France: See you around!

Spain: Want to pick the next reviewer, Gilbert? ^_^

Prussia: No thanks.

Spain: It's fun!

France: I'll do it instead. ^_^

Prussia: FINE, I'M DOING IT.

France: Well, I said I'll do it. Too late. ^_^

Prussia: Aw shut up!

(The two fight over the box while Spain starts eating his tomatoes.)

**Oh hello~ *curious eyes* WHEN IT'S BAD TOUCH TRIO, I CAN'T DECIDED WHO TOPS WHO ON MY FAV LIST!**

**-cough- anyway;**

**Prussia: CAN I HAVE ANOTHER GILBERT!**

**France: I JUST REALIZE MATTHEW ALMOST HAS THE SAME HAIR AS YOU! QUESTION: What did you feel when you were fighting during the Crimean War?**

**Spain: -glomps- Is it true you have a two-faced personality? (-theories states that you were mean with your other colonies [ahem, remember dear Philippines?~] except for Lovino~... IS IT TRUE DAMNIT!)**

**To all AWESOME 3:**

**Do you think FELICIANO is cute (yes Antonio, we all know Romano is adorable :3)**

**What would happen if you guys turned into girls? (I'm pretty sure you'll all be hot girls anyway :D)**

**What names for your group do you guys prefer? Bad Touch Trio (my personal fav); Bad Friends Trio; Bad Business Trio; Badass Trio OR Bad Company Trio?**

**Also, who do you think is the best AWESOME-EST in your group? (I VOTE FOR GILBIRD!)**

**That's all...**

**(PS, My AWESOME friend made a fan art of us stealing your clothes calling ourselves the BAD TOUCH TRIO... reactions to that? ((I was Spain for some odd reason... also, you guys look adorable running away in naked and I will shut up now)) GILBIRD IS THERE! )**

Prussia: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

France: Antonio, how did you do that? You didn't even touch the box!

Spain: (looks up from half-eaten tomato) Huh? I didn't do that.

Pasta: That was me. We need to continue with the fic, people. Stop fighting over silly things like picking the next review. Antonio, you do that job. Waste a little more time and I remove all the fancy equipment here. (disappears)

Prussia: OI, YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF US-

France: Don't argue. She can cancel this program if she wants to. Some people even consider this as a violation to the ToS of so she has the right to do just that if she wants to.

Spain: But she isn't going to cancel this, is she? It's too fun!

France: I don't know. Maybe we'll find out soon.

Prussia: Anyway, hello. I'm sure I top Francis and Antonio when it comes to who's the best among us. Seriously, I-

France: Gilbert! We all know who's the most dazzling and gorgeous-

Prussia: I'M AWESOME.

France: I'M HOT.

Spain: (finishes the crate of tomatoes) These tomatoes are good.

France: Anyway-

Prussia: Oh sorry, you can't have another Gilbert. There's only one. (winks)

(Crowd screams to be winked at)

Prussia: Look at that, Francis. They're DYING to be winked at.

France: Hey, they did that too last chapter!

Spain: Um, aren't we supposed to be moving on?

France: Good point. Yes, Matthew and I have the same hairstyle. Isn't it fascinating?

Prussia: Gee, I never knew that…

France: Proceeding to the next question, fighting in the Crimean War felt both good and bad. Yes, I can't deny that it feels great to fight for what you believe is good, but fighting in a war, in general, can be terrible sometimes. The aftermath of a war is usually the part a nation dreads, actually.

Prussia: True.

France: Oh, oh, look at the next question! Antonio, are you really two-faced? ^_^

Prussia: ^_^

Spain: I believe I don't know what you're talking about… ^_^

Prussia and France: Or do you? ^_^

Spain: Elaborate two-faced for me? ^_^

Prussia: If you're two faced, that means you're sometimes mean to your colonies-

France: Like Philippines-

Prussia: And other innocent souls-

France: Except for Lovino, of course-

Prussia: Somewhat like Russia-

France: Abusive and mean inside but friendly and happy outside-

Prussia: Yeah, that's two-faced. ^_^

France: So are you? ^_^

Spain: Why would I be two-faced? o.o

Prussia: (whispers to France) Damn, he still won't admit it.

France: (whispers to Prussia) I know we'll get it out of him someday.

Spain: Ah, I like the next question. Feliciano is really cute, just like _mi angelito _Lovino. ^_^

France: Feliciano's very adorable, and he looks up to me a lot. ^_^

Prussia: He's cute, and looks up to me more. ^_^

France: I believe he looks up to me more than-

Italy: Big brother France! Big brother Prussia! Big brother Spain! Helloooo! ^_^

Romano: Uh, hey, all you bastards… -_-

France: HA! HE SAID MY NAME FIRST!

Prussia: AW SHUT UP YOU-

Spain: Feli! Lovi! Come here!

(The two Italies sit next to Spain)

Romano: (yells at Prussia and France) Could you two idiots shut up?

Italy: Aw, don't yell. I'm sure they're going to stop soon. ^_^

France: Shutting up. Um, next question. What would happen if we turned into girls?

Prussia: It would be really weird if that really happened. We'd be hot, anyway.

Spain: I think we'll still have fun times, of course. ^_^

France: I agree with Antonio. Fun times… ^_^

Prussia: Huh. The next question's about our group name.

France: I prefer Bad Touch Trio.

Spain: Bad Friends Trio is good enough.

Prussia: Anything with Bad and Trio in it would be awesome.

Italy: Ve~ But who's the most awesome among the three of you? ^_^

Romano: Dammit, Feliciano, they're going to get really noisy again.

Prussia: Most awesome? Well, that's me of course. And Gilbird.

France: Excuse me, Gilbert, but it's not nice to pretend to be someone you're not.

Prussia: Oh, look who's talking.

France: Yeah, I'm talking so you better shut up.

Prussia: YOU should be the one to shut up, unawesome Frenchie.

France: I AM AWESOME.

Prussia: _Nein, _you idiot, I'M THE ONE WHO'S AWESOME. AND SO IS GILBIRD.

Spain: Um… Am I awesome?

Prussia and France: NO.

Spain: (looks sad)

Romano: Oi, bastard, don't you dare cry. That's pathetic and stupid! I have to put up with this overly sensitive crybaby twin brother of mine all the time and- DON'T CRY.

Spain: (looks away) I'm not crying.

Romano: OI , YOU BASTARD-

Italy: Ve~ big brother Spain, why are you crying?

Romano: JUST BECAUSE THOSE TWO STUPID FRIENDS OF YOURS OVER THERE SAID YOU WEREN'T AWESOME DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE, SO-

(Prussia and France stop fighting and look at Spain)

Spain: I'm not crying!

France: Um, Antonio? You do know that we didn't mean-

Prussia: Yeah, we were carried away, that's all. You're awesome, you know that?

France: Don't cry, now. We're sorry. RIGHT, GILBERT?

Prussia: OF COURSE. We're sorry. You're awesome.

Spain: (smiles) Okay. _Gracias_. I thought you really meant that I wasn't awesome. Actually, being awesome isn't really that important, but seeing that it's important to you two makes it important to me too, and-

Prussia: THAT IS JUST AWESOME, ANTONIO. (hugs Spain)

France: I agree. That really is awesome. (hugs Spain too)

Romano: What happened to trying not to waste time?

Italy: Ve~ what's big sister Hungary doing over there?

(Everyone turns to see a camera flash and Hungary running off)

Prussia: OI, COME BACK HERE, YOU-

France: That's enough, Gilbert. Let's stop wasting time now. Let her be, I'm sure we'll be able to get the pictures sooner or later. Anyway, that is just brilliant. Your friend made a fan art of you people stealing our clothes and calling yourselves the Bad Touch Trio?

Prussia: AWESOME.

Spain: Oh, you're me? It must be fun pretending to be me. ^_^

France: That just goes to show how much everyone loves me- ahem- us. Oh, and what's that about us running away naked and looking adorable? ^_^

Prussia: Psh. We look adorable ALL THE TIME.

Italy: Um, why is there a bird on my head?

Prussia: THERE YOU ARE, GILBIRD. I FOUND YOU!

Italy: Big brother Prussia, why is Gilbird on my head?

Romano: Yeah, other potato bastard, that thing's supposed to be on YOUR head.

Prussia: DON'T CALL GILBIRD A 'THING'. Oh, Feliciano, that just means you're awesome. Gilbird only sits on the heads of REALLY awesome people, and you should be honored!

Italy: Wow, that's great. But I think he feels better on your head…

Prussia: Yeah, I agree. (grabs Gilbird from Italy's head and puts it on his own)

Romano: What the hell? That's just a stupid bird…

Spain: Aw, Lovi, don't be jealous. You're awesome too. ^_^

Romano: Yeah, I already knew that, you bastard… (blushes)

France: Antonio, you should be picking the next review now.

Spain: Oh, right! (shakes a box, which appeared out of nowhere, and slips his hand inside, picking one paper)

**Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!**

***hugs Prussia***

***Hugs Spain***

***Punches France in the face***

**That felt refreshing! ANYWAY...**

**If the three of you were to fight, who would win?**

**What's the craziest thing you have done? (Crime category)**

**If life gave you lemons, what would you do?**

***hugs Prussia***

Spain: I CHOOSE YOU.

Prussia: Shit, Antonio, is that from Pokemon?

France: No, I believe he got that from Alfred.

Spain: Both, actually.

Prussia, France, and Romano: YOU WATCH POKEMON?

Spain: Uhh… Yes?

Italy: Ve~ _fratello, _you watch it with me too-

Romano: SHUT UP. WE DON'T WATCH POKEMON.

Italy: Okay then! ^_^

Prussia: Haha, you people watch Pokemon. Anyway, thanks for the hug.

Spain: Thanks for the hug too! ^_^

France: Aw, why did I have to be punched? That hurts… -_-

Romano: That serves you right, wine bastard.

Italy: You don't have to be so mean to big brother France, you know.

Romano: Yeah, whatever.

Prussia: First question. If the three of us were to fight, who would win?

Romano: I vote for the tomato bastard.

Spain: Oh, is that me? Aw, Lovi, thanks! ^_^

Romano: Better you than the wine bastard and the other potato bastard.

France: There's a big chance that it would be me. ^_^

Prussia: Nah, maybe it's me. ^_^

Spain: Well, if Lovi thinks that I can win, then maybe I could. ^_^

Romano: Of course it's you, stupid!

Italy: Ve~ I think all of you can win. ^_^

France: That's nice of you, Feliciano. ^_^

Prussia: Hmm… What's the craziest thing we've done? Oh, my friend, that's a good question.

France: Quite easy, actually. We have done SEVERAL things, including drunk driving, drug dealing, condom stealing, assaulting officers, sexual harassment, and many other stuff.

Spain: Hopefully, that won't be repeated again.

Prussia: Loosen up, Antonio; at least we haven't murdered anyone.

France: We already have, actually. ^_^

Prussia and Spain: (stare at France) What, really? O_o

Italy: Murdered? O.O

Romano: Oh fuck, what have you criminals done? o_o

France: Calm down. We've only murdered millions- with our looks.

Prussia: (laughs) Hell yeah.

Spain: (laughs as well) Oh. Haha.

Italy: Is that a good thing?

France: Of course it is. ^_^

Romano: This is crazy. Feliciano, we're going.

Italy: Aww, but why? We're having fun.

Romano: I want to have an early lunch. Come on. Bye, tomato bastard.

Spain: Goodbye, _mi amore._

Italy: Oh, okay. I'll cook us some pasta, then.

(The two brothers leave)

Prussia: Right. Next question. If life gave us lemons, what would we do?

France: Interesting question. I love lemons. I'd treasure them.

Prussia: Psh. They're nice.

France: Just nice?

Prussia: Just nice.

Spain: Lemons are sour.

France: Not those lemons, Antonio. The other ones. The ones Gilbert and I were talking about last week.

Spain: Oh. They're… um… nice.

France: Is nice the only adjective you two know? Lemons are EXCELLENT.

Prussia: Well, awesome's an adjective too.

Spain: So is cute.

France: I suppose those two could describe lemons as well, then…

Prussia: Haha, I got another hug! _Danke_, my friend.

France: You're not the only one who gets hugs, Gilbert.

Prussia: Well, you weren't hugged.

Spain: Next review! (shakes the box and picks another paper)

**Hi :)**

**anyway...someone my questions are a bit serious and I don`t want you guys to lie especially Prussia and France**

**right my most serious question:**

**France! Prussia! What really happened to Holy Roman Empire! There were some rumors that he grew up to be Germany, is that true? France you`re the one who told Italy he disappeared...there was proof of that info in the boun san valentino web comic, well I just want to ask for your opinions, also Spain if you know something about this you may answer as well...**

**right now my ridiculous questions**

**-Spain why are you cute? sorry that`s not the question...anyway why does Romano hate you? Also why do you like tomatoes?**

**-Prussia why are you awesome? Not a question...anyway what would you feel if I told you you are my 3rd favorite :P Also did you really take good care of Germany, if so why does Germany act more like the big Brother?**

**-France why are you a perverted wine bastard? that`s an insult...anyway why do you bully Iggy? Also why do you molest almost everyone?**

**Now I'll just ask you guys what do you feel about some characters**

**Prussia what do you feel about...UMM... maybe...Japan...?**

**Spain what do you feel about...ummmm...England..?**

**France what do you feel about...umm...America I guess..?**

Prussia: Hello there.

France: Ah, she seems to have serious questions.

Spain: Yeah, and you better be serious answering them.

Prussia: Yeah, yeah, whatever. We will live up to expectations and stuff, now what's the first question?

France: Well, it's about what really happened to Holy Roman Empire.

Prussia: Fine, he is Germany. He just can't remember anything about being Holy Roman Empire, that's all.

France: It's because of his numerous battles and never-ending fighting in war.

Spain: That means the present Ludwig Beilschmidt is Germany and was Holy Roman Empire. He just doesn't remember the Holy Roman Empire part. Right?

France: Correct.

Prussia: Yeah, and I'd prefer it if it remains that way. Nobody knows this except for those who witnessed his childhood and early dissolution and those close to him.

France: One problem. What if he finds out?

Prussia: Aw, shut up. It's not like he's here right now.

Pasta: Don't worry; I won't let him appear unless I feel the need to. Now, proceed to the next question. :)

Spain: Right. Why am I cute…? How do I answer that? Never mind, I won't. Next. Why does Romano hate me? Well, he may express differently, but I know that he loves me deep inside. ^_^

France: He didn't appear. Haha. Um, move on.

Spain: As to the next question, I love tomatoes because they're really delicious. Nice lady over there, can you get me more tomatoes? (grabs the new crate the lady presents to him)

France: Tomatoes again... Um, Gilbert?

Prussia: What? Oh, right. Next question. I'm awesome because I am. AND I SAY THAT EVEN THOUGH I'M YOUR THIRD FAVORITE, I'M STILL AWESOME.

France: I bet I'm first.

Prussia: Nah, it's got to be Antonio. Better him than you.

Spain: (looks up from tomatoes) Huh?

Prussia: Nothing. Anyway, yes, I believe I've taken really good care of West. He just acts like the big brother because he's not awesome enough to act like much of a younger brother. He doesn't want to act younger, anyway.

France: He's more mature, to put it simply.

Prussia: Hey, I can be mature too!

France: Says who?

Prussia: Says me!

Spain: Um, Francis? Why are you a perverted wine bastard?

(Prussia and France stop fighting and look at Antonio)

Prussia: Did you just insult Francis? Little goody two shoes Antonio?

Spain: Yeah, I guess so. Wait- no! Not me! It's the next question.

France: And I thought I heard wrong… What you call perverse is actually my way of expressing romance. (winks)

Prussia: Yeah whatever, Francis. The next question is about why you bully Iggy.

France: _Angleterre_ and I just aren't in good terms. We never are and never were, unless we want or need to. I wouldn't call it bullying, but arguing playfully.

England: What the bloody hell is all this about now?

France: Oh hello there, Arthur.

England: Francis. How did I get here?

France: Oh, I don't know. Maybe wants you to stay here until the end of today's chapter.

England: NOOOOO! (grows angel wings out of nowhere and bursts through the ceiling, making a Britannia Angel-shaped hole)

Prussia: Shit. That was retarded. We must be on drugs.

Spain: This is like the time Alfred burst through the ceiling in a superhero costume.

France: _Déjà vu_…

Spain: Um, next question?

France: Alright then. I molest everyone because that's love and romance. There's nothing you can do about it. I just love it. It's brilliant, I tell you. Especially since most nations are sexy, pretty, handsome, and cute.

Prussia: Oh really?

France: Yes, really. ^_^

Spain: Uhh… okay. Gilbert, the next question's for you.

Prussia: Oh, what I feel about Japan? Kiku's a really nice guy. He makes all these cool stuff like video games and anime and manga. I play, read, and watch some of them. There are a lot of interesting things in there…

France: I get what you mean. Especially the manga… Ahem. Antonio?

Spain: Well, England and I are good friends. Back in the old days, we loved having pirate adventures together, but things got rocky when he sank my _armada_. We're still on good terms, though.

Prussia: Huh. That's nice. His cooking's-

France: Don't say a word. He might fly back in and make sure you'll never live again.

Prussia: Right. Oi, Francis, next question.

France: Ah, about dear _Amerique_? He's… you know… himself. Can't really describe him in one word, but we're good friends. He goes to me sometimes when I have problems, and I'm always glad to help him.

Prussia: Interesting.

Spain: Thanks for the review! ^_^

France: Alright. Next.

(Spain gets the box and shakes it, picking one paper afterwards)

**Hello guys~**

**I have few questions, sadly, but I'm still asking.**

**France: I am wondering, they say that Greece has done it the most out of all countries, but I thought you had done it more. Is it true?**

**Spain: do you eat anything other than tomatoes?**

**Prussia: I wanna see your blog, keep me on updates plz?**

**All of you: who is the CUTEST country you've ever met?**

**And keep on the awesomeness, especially you, Gilbo!**

**~Tsuya **

Prussia: Oh hey there, Tsuya. What's up?

France: Hello. Your first question is quite interesting. I believe I've done it the most out of all. I've even done it with Greece himself.

Spain: Then who is it, really?

Prussia: Yeah. There's a possibility that it isn't you.

France: Oh, shut up. If dear Heracles has done it more than I have, then let's just say that papa France will come out to play more often now, hmm?

Prussia: Oh no…

Spain: Hmm… Do I eat anything other than tomatoes? What kind of question is that? I love tomatoes, but I eat other things, of course.

France: He's going to go through all his fiesta food again.

Spain: There's paella! Ooh, that's one of my favorites. Churros are my favorites too! I also love eating chorizo, gazpacho, tortilla, and- OH THERE'S ALSO SNACKS. I love eating turron and polvoron. There are many others too like-

Prussia: Like etcetera, etcetera, and etcetera. Sounds delicious, Antonio.

Spain: Etcetera? I haven't tasted that before.

France: Haha, um, let's move on, shall we?

Prussia: Yeah. OH MY BLOG. It's a really awesome blog, huh? Don't worry; I'll keep you on updates, although I haven't been putting anything much lately. I'll let everyone know, though. (winks)

Spain: Right. Last question.

France: The cutest nation we've met? Oh, that's easy.

Spain: Lovi, of course! ^_^

Prussia: I don't think Francis was talking about him, Antonio.

France: I'm referring to _mon cher Matthieu_. Isn't he cute?

Prussia: OI, I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!

France: Well, if you insist, I'd have to say that _Angleterre_ is also cute at times.

Prussia: I vote for Canada and…. Oh, Austria's cute when he blushes.

Spain: Little Feliciano's very cute too.

France: Oh Gilbert, EVERYONE is cute when they blush.

Spain: Those twins are so adorable…

Prussia: Heh. Gilbird's cute, adorable, and AWESOME all at the same time.

France: He's not a nation, Gilbert.

Prussia: Well, he's good enough to be one!

Spain: Isn't he a bird?

France: I suppose anyone can be cute if they try hard, but can't really be compared to those who are naturally cute without even trying… ^_^

Prussia: That includes me. And of course, I'll always keep on the awesomeness.

Spain: Uh-huh. Thanks for the review, Tsuya! See you sometime again. ^_^

France: Next review.

Prussia: And last. It's getting late.

Spain: Okay! (shakes the box and picks a paper)

**France~ Canada- wait, was that his name? Yeah, I guess that was his name- says he misses you, so you have to come over to our house. :|**

**Spain~ Hi, I'm starving, may I have some Churros?**

**Prussia~ You're Awesome.**

**-Kumajirou **

Prussia: Hey there, Kumajirou! Wait- what? KUMAJIROU?

France: How can a bear-

Prussia: Canada's bear-

France: Review on a fanfiction story?

Spain: Ahaha, that's creepy, but we have to be nice and entertain his questions.

France: Alright then. Ah, look, he even forgot his own master's name. OH OH CANADA MISSES ME!

Prussia: I bet he misses me too.

France: Well, he could have said so.

Prussia: This is his bear talking, you idiot!

France: Same thing. Oh, I'll be sure to come over and pay a visit… ^_^

Prussia: I'M VISITING HIM TOO.

France: You weren't asked to.

Prussia: Yeah, well, whatever! And look at the face Kumajirou put after the sentence. **:| **I don't think he likes you.

France: Well, that bear is a little scary…

Spain: Aww, you poor thing, you really must be starving. Here are some churros! (hands out churros to Kumajirou) Ask for some more if you want. ^_^

Prussia: HELL YEAH HE CALLED ME AWESOME.

France: Canada's bear called you awesome, Gilbert, not Canada.

Prussia: Same thing. :P

Spain: Nice talking to you, little Kumajirou! Tell your owner I said hi! ^_^

France: Tell him I said hello. ^_^

Prussia: Tell him I said hey. ^_^

Spain: Um, what's the difference?

France: Hello is longer and isn't a shortcut.

Prussia: Hey isn't a shortcut! It's a cooler way of saying hello!

Spain: I think it's the thought that counts…

France: Okay then, I think it's time to go.

* * *

"Wait! Stop!" a voice boomed out of nowhere. The trio looked around frantically, surprised by the unfamiliar voice. Suddenly, PastaWar19 appeared.

"HAHAHA. The looks on your faces were priceless! That was just my voice autotuned and magnified nine times," Pasta explained, giggling.

Prussia frowned. "Aw shut up. You're not funny. You're just a silly fan girl."

"Yeah, I won't deny that I'm a fan girl, but you can't talk to me that way. I can discontinue this story if I want to," Pasta threatened.

Spain gasped and said, "No, you can't discontinue this! It's fun. Several readers will be disappointed and-"

Pasta smiled. "Don't worry, Antonio; I'm not discontinuing this."

"You're not?" France inquired suspiciously, "But some reviewer said that you violated the ToS, and that you've been reported."

"That is, unfortunately, true," Pasta said darkly, sighing, "But just because I've been told that won't stop me."

Prussia interrupted. "Wait a minute- what happened to the script form? You know, the 'Prussia: I'M AWESOME' form of writing chapters?"

Pasta grinned. "Oh, the script form? Said reviewer also told me that script form chapters also violate the ToS. I didn't want to completely disobey the rules, so I decided to at least drop the script form."

"Oh. Well, at least the story's continuing!" Spain exclaimed cheerfully.

"That's true," Pasta said, "But that signifies the start of slower updates. Chapters will be longer so maybe a chapter every two weeks would be the regular updating time."

France gasped. "That slow?"

"Yeah, I know. If I procrastinate, then maybe a chapter every three weeks," Pasta added.

"Procrastinate? Why'd you procrastinate with something as awesome as 'Ask the Bad Friends Trio?" Prussia yelled hotly, "This program's really important, you know."

Pasta blushed slightly. "Yeah, I know, but this program's not my whole life. I have many other things to worry about, like other fics, fan videos, requests, and school."

"Oh. Um, it's really getting late, so I guess we can call it a day?" Spain said.

"Yeah, we should be saying goodbye now," France observed.

"Alright. I'll leave it to you three to end this chapter now," Pasta said happily, skipping off to fan girl on other things, "Goodbye!"

Prussia rolled his eyes. "I swear, that girl can be so weird sometimes. Anyway, _tschus_, everyone!"

Spain smiled brightly. "_Si, si, adios_ to all of you!"

France winked. "_Adieu_!"

* * *

**_A/N: _**_**Yes, you heard it right. I'm continuing this story but dropping the script form. I hope you will all still like it as much. :) **_

_**-Pasta W 19. :D  
**_


End file.
